Changing of the Purse

There are very few things that woman, far and wide, take so seriously:

1. Did I leave the oven on?
2. Dieting
3. Changing of the Purse

You show me a woman who enjoys changing purses and I’ll be looking at a real creep. I’m serious. I know two of these types of women; one has already cashed in her one-way ticket to Crazyville. The other has been labeled “Hi-Risk” for doing the same. 

Changing purses can cause a woman to re-evaluate her life....

• Where is all of my money?
• At what point did my social life take a turn that I decided I needed to carry around a cork screw?
• Why do I still have this ticket stub from that terrible date in April? Following up, why did I go an 2 more dates with the same guy after that?
• Coral lipstick: When did I turn into my mother?
• Shabby kleenexes: When did I turn into my Grandmother?
• The “lucky” quarter: Why do I still carry this in my secret compartment? The week I found it on Maple Street I got a flat tire, my camera stolen and the flu. 
• A single birthday candle. Just, Why?

This “change” wouldn’t be as painful if I was good at it. I attempted to change purses on new years day: New Year, New Purse. Even today, I have regretted that decision it twice in the last thirty minutes. I can’t find my checkbook, Advil or spare house key. 

Some enjoy taking this time to change and reorganize. Personally, I would rather reorganize my life by cleaning out my entire attic. A painful task, but it won’t ruin your life like a shoddy purse change will. 

For those who do enjoy this event, have you ever messed it up? Have you ever gotten a state away before realizing you have nothing in your purse but hard-as-a-rock gum, a Keith Whitley CD and outdated business cards from your first job out of college? 

No? Well, then you probably don’t understand why I’m already on Priceline.com looking for one-way tickets for you, too.