Casually or With Intent

Monday I sat in a frigid ballroom in downtown Nashville, working to keep up with  a presenter who failed to pause at the conclusion of a single sentence. His content was beyond worthy of my time, but his presentation skills were slowly extinguishing the flame born inside me when I learned he was a rural photographer, passionate about telling life's stories by way of camera lens.

 

Tim Barnwell photo

The presenter spoke of how he captured such incredible images, and the steps he took to ensure his work - his efforts - were of some sort of value.

I had refilled my water glass twice and collected all of the free Sheridan pens from the middle of the table when a single line from the monotonous presenter ignited an interesting thought. I looked around wondering if I was the only one whose wheels were set into motion by the words. I jotted it down in my iPad:

What an interesting question. It is incredibly simple to lose sight of that in everyday life, and I'm no longer speaking of cameras.

I can recall a very specific time in my life when I was - no questions asked - living casually. I woke daily dreading another mundane day at work. I didn't hate my job but I was bored. And boredom is in fact the desire for desires, according to  Leo Tolstoy. I adored the people I worked with, but I didn't understand how anything I was doing made a difference anywhere but on the bottom line - and that bothered me.

I spent my evenings at the farm having a Budweiser with Dad and tending to our cattle. I don't discount any of those hours; it was then that I recognized the value in treasure hunting and cow paths. Those evenings formed the foundation for this blog.

But the days and nights began to run together and somehow never ended. I stayed up far too late sitting around with friends, old and new in the greater Greens Fork area, reminiscing of days past and wondering how our lives would turn out. Understand: there is no worse gut-check than going through your days wondering how your life will turn out. I was living then; I was in the middle of it.

It was time for a change. I needed intent.

So I began discovering ways to pass on the good things I see or hear. I acquired a camera and never let it leave my side. I realized the value in a good nights rest. My intent became creating a medium to pass on all the great things in this life. This blog was born. 

When you look at your life, are you going through it causally, allowing the important days to pass with an annoyingly packed schedule? What are those busy things that occupy your mind and your energy? How do they infer with your life's intent?

Today I live with the intent to use this medium to translate all of life's best lessons and stories on to you, a group of people I may never have the opportunity to meet. While I'm not always so great at it, it keeps a certain focus in my weeks and definitely has changed my Tuesday nights. And that isn't my only intention. I live with the  intent to be a loving, supportive wife and one day a mother. And I'm also with the intent to support and supplement my family and our operation. I also have an astounding intent to vacuum my carpets weekly. But that is so lofty. 

A life lived casually can be a dreadful, dangerous one. Don't just let the days pass. 

The two enemies of human happiness are pain and boredom. 

Arthur Schopenhauer

Are you living casually or with intent?