Since it's just you and I this morning, can I make a confession?
Don't worry, I've not robbed a bank or lied on my license about my weight (more than 15 lbs.), but it's something I think about every once in a while.
W.I.T.: Wife In Training.
17ish days from today I'll be a wife and I have to tell you, I don't know if I'm cut out for this wife deal.
Do I have it in me?
I look around at the wives I know and quite frankly, I get tired.
Like, just ate at Cracker Barrel after church, tired.
Since it's just us and we have a few minutes, can I ask a few questions?
How does a wife like Ann have the confidence and faith to tell her husband, "OK, let's do this" then take a leap of faith and start a business out of their newlywed apartment? Like, some days the greatest leap of faith I take is putting a dry-clean only blouse in with my delicates and then I worry myself to death for 8 hours that I've thrown $30 down the drain. But huge faith in business decisions: How do I get there?
And sometimes I forget to feed Dixie. And she never says much so it tends to go unnoticed. Then around 1:47 a.m. I wake up to the eery feeling of someone looking at me and I open my eyes to see the white tip of a tail going 100 mph in the dark. I just don't think I'll get the same response if I forget to feed Cody? How long can a grown man go with out feeding? Please advise.
How do wives like Marlene adjust to a husband who travels the continental fifty regularly, Facebooking every photo and every new adventure? How does she not pack a bag, quit her job and hit the wide open trail with him? How does a wife learn to proudly promote and watch? And just what does she pack for healthy road snacks? Teach me.
I have gone months without thinking about cleaning my shower. Does this change with a husband? How do you mask the gag? How does one get past the dried up toothpaste on the side of the sink? Where does one buy the right type of shaving cream? I'm so scared there are not enough rubber gloves in the world.
I really like my alone time. Sometimes I even invite girlfriends to keep me company. Can wives still do this? Will Wannabeez miss Chey, Laramie, Em and I? What if they don't? Do wives still get invited to girls' night? Please say yes. Lie to me.
How do Teresa and Julie feed two families nightly (NIGHTLY) and any guests that show up? I don't have it in me, the organized gene. Or the meal planning gene. There have been weeks when I've been to Meijer for dinner ingredients more times than I've washed my hair. How do you get that preparation gene? How do you say, "You'll eat it and you'll like it" without actually saying that aloud?
When Katie and I want to take our annual gypsy trip, do we need signed permission slips now? Recognizing the men we both chose, I'd guess no, but I have a really hard time wrapping my head around a signature and an insurance waiver to go see the wild west in a rental car and series of cheap motels.
I look around at these wives who have this deal mastered and I kind of want to puke and eat a half gallon of ice-cream at the same time. I have confidence in myself and my ability to make Cody laugh and allow him to love me (the real, sometimes moody, need-me-time, where is my phone charger? My fat jeans don't even fit!!! me) completely and truly.
But then I think one thing goes wrong - like I forget to register his favorite stock or I scorch he heck out of his favorite shirt - and I will have failed in everything that my Momma has ever tried to teach me.
Confession: I don't even know how to make gravy.
The truth is I admire the ones around me who have blazed the trail far ahead. Thank you for burning biscuits and leaving the gates open and throwing away the most comfortable pair of underwear he has ever owned.
But please help. Leave your "Wife In Training" advice in the comments below.