Wednesday, February 24, 2016

If We Make It Through December

Someone called me last week and they shouldn't have. 
No really. 
It was by accident.

I didn't hear the missed call, but when I found it later that morning I was surprised to see the name in my call log. Though an acquaintance, the caller wasn’t someone that would typically call me. Or even text? So I was even more surprised to see that they left a message.

A long message, at just under three minutes.

Minutes later I was in my car and pulled up the voicemail to review it over Sync – the vehicle’s hands free feature – as I drove. Sync made the caller’s message audible over the sound system of the vehicle, making it easier to listen and drive.

Only seconds into the message filling the interior of my car, it was obvious that the caller hadn’t meant to call me. Like any curious (nosey? bored? curious?) person looking to pass time on the road, I listened through the duration, anyway. The caller moved around a lot. And talked a lot. I think to only themself. And seemed to have a lot on their mind. 

“…just get through this week...” they said in between shuffles.

Amen, I thought to myself. It seems since November I’ve been repeating the same mantra, giving myself a similar pep talk when no one else is around. My theme song has become Haggard’s If We Make It Through December. But honestly, I’ll just be happy to make it through this particular week.

Anyone else feel like that?
If I can just make it through this week…
If I can make this last to my next paycheck…
If I can just hear back from them...
If I can survive this next event…
If I can wait just five more minutes…
If I can survive this shift...
If I can make it through this next semester…
If I can get through one more obligation…
If I can just give them one more chance…
If we can just push a little further, we’ll make it to the other side…
Everything’s gonna be alright, I know.

The trouble is that we always think that we have time. We think that if we can get through some thing in our path, some next step, some big challenge, that our life will begin – or we will begin – after that. But life isn’t meant to be lived that way, by a series of “ifs” and “whens”, marking days off the calendar like it’s some kind of personal feat to become one day closer to the end of a long, exciting ride. When I consider myself hoping that I make it through December (or February?) in that way, I’m actually embarrassed by myself. 

But it’s so easy to do!

The days are long 
but the months are short 
and the years are actually 
a blink.

I didn’t call the pocket dialer back. 
I didn't need to. 
And there wasn't enough time in my day. 
I didn't even give it a second thought. 
What would I say, anyhow?

“Hi. This is Jean. You called me on accident. Last week. I can't believe you have my number because I was surprised that I had your's stored. Anyway,  I (now) know that you’re going through a rough time but I hope you make it through December. Or this February. Or this week. Or, through this voicemail. 

And - hey - thanks for giving me a message to share on the blog this week. You were my inspiration because I really don't think you're alone. In fact, I know you're not. We all have times or experiences that relentlessly drag on. Or drag us. But we make it. We always do. And you will, too. The days are long but the months are short and the years are actually a blink.

And you really should lock your keypad. That's how people get in trouble. Or end up as the subject of blogs.  And – there is a really good chance that in two years you won’t even remember this week of your life that you’re trying so desperately to get through. So hang in there.”

Nah, I didn't call them back 
or even think about it. 
Not even once. 
I wouldn't want to waste their time.