Showing posts with label comparison. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comparison. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Patience: A Generational Gap

I recently had a conversation with a summer intern where we discussed her internship thus far and what her field experience would entail. Throughout our conversation I caught myself thinking:
Why doesn’t she seem nervous?
Why aren’t her hands sweating?
Why hasn’t she asked a stupid question yet?
Why doesn’t she appear to have gained the freshman 15 like I did?
So many questions floated across my mind during that one-hour meeting. I learned that the gal is twelve – twwwwwwellllllvvvvve - years younger than I.
With that realization, my questions were all suddenly answered: 
We’re basically living on a different planet.

Our age/experience/life-in-general gap made me think back to last week’s blog regarding the ancient need for people my age to wait at least an hour (more like a minimum of three once you drove to Wal-Mart, ran errands and waited for film to be developed) to see any photos that had been taken using a fim camera.
That’s how my generation learned patience!
That’s how we lived through an entire school day without taking a photo of ourselves in the bathroom mirror!
That’s why thousands of us are still holding on to these boxes

which are full of these!



My brief meeting with the intern left me wondering: What else?
What else has today’s younger generation not experienced, leaving them – in many ways – less patient than my generation?
(Which, of course, is much less patience that our parents' generation.)

Let me count the ways:

They didn’t get to play Oregon Trail. I say “get” like it was a treat. It wasn’t a treat, it was a chore. One minute you're in computer class pressing the space bar and the next thing you know Nicole has died of dysentery (there’s one in every crowd). Then, the meat goes bad because Matt couldn’t pull his weight when fording the Mississippi River (always won the spelling bee, never was athletic). My generation didn’t have to read The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team and apply it in the workplace because we had to learn about teamwork the hard way: Figuring out how to survive computer class without an axle breaking.



And another thing.

Today’s youth don’t understand the magnitude of multitasking because they didn't have to sit through an entire seventh-grade social studies class, trying to memorize the fifty-four countries in Africa and also keep a Giga Pet alive in their locker. You want to talk about pressure? Try to focus on a creative way to remember where Djibouti is while wondering if your Giga got enough love to last until Algebra 1. 

Exhausting.

I never had one of these but my friend Marissa had three and she let me take care of one for a day. I killed it before lunch. It was a quick - I like you but I don't trust you with my kids - lesson in friendship and I went back to learning about Congo in no time. 



And finally.

The younger generation doesn't have to wait for mom to get off the phone with the PTA President before they can switch out the phone jacks and pray to the Internet gods that the connection goes through so they can chat with friends they haven't seen in three hours. 


They can’t identify with the association of anxiety that comes with these sounds:



They don’t understand the planning and patience that goes into trying to download ten songs overnight (because surely no one will try to call the home phone between 10:00 PM and 5:00 AM, right?) only to wake up to find that seven had errors occur shortly after you dozed off into dreams of Pacey and Joey.

We can talk all day about working with Millennials, compensation, benefits, work styles, praise and cluster offices. But the root of the patience problem comes down to the newest generation in the workplace having little to no experience with film cameras, The Oregon Trail, Giga Pets and dial-up Internet.

As for the freshman fifteen: 
As long as cheese bread still exists, 
the freshman fifteen will span lifetimes.

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Stealing Joy

I had heard of it, in passing.
I even recognized the characters’ names, somehow?
But I had never actually engaged. 

Through the advice of coworkers, two weeks ago I began watching episodes of FixerUpper.

 

I’ve had a strange urge 
to burn our house to the ground 
ever since.

For the three people left in this world not familiar with the show (I was one of you, only weeks ago), Fixer Upper is a home improvement show hosted by a young, charismatic couple that transforms dumps into dream homes…in one episode…with humor…and a perfect budget.
Every project they complete is fresher, brighter, and more charming than anything I’ve ever lived in. Sorry, Momma.
They just don’t build shiplap bathrooms made to house frozen baby calves over night.


Chip and Joanna are like your admirable, adorable older cousin and his wife who live states away that you keep up with only seeing the highlight reel (Christmas letter). Even after seeing them every so often (Tuesdays at 9:00 EST), you leave feeling just a bit envious of the amazing work they do, the ease of which they do it and the allure of the Texas life they live.

And that’s why 
I have a terribly hard 
time watching the show.

I have to tell you something.
In hopes that maybe by telling you – and only you – I’ll do a better job of holding myself accountable.
I do this thing. Not often, but every once in a while.   
I’m aware of it, only once it begins.
And I cringe each time I let myself do it.
Still, every so often, it happens again.

I let comparison creep into my mind and 
I quietly begin to discount the positive things in my life.

I see a beautifully renovated Fixer Upper house and I forget about how far along our home has come.



 Today our home is filled with ranch and family history. And walls. None of which you can buy at Magnolia Market. 

I see someone begin to take impeccable care of him or her self and I wonder why I’m ok with WhirleyPop for supper when Cody is out of town.


I see people younger than I chasing beautiful kids around and worry: Am I going to be an old Mom?

But isn’t it so easy? The comparison thing. 
Isn’t it so easy to watch good things unfold for someone else, then quietly sit back and think: I’d like to experience that, too. If only just a little.
In a time where we have access to every intricate detail (whether we want to or not) of a family’s highlight reel, it’s so easy to watch our own behind the scenes footage unfold, and compare. If only by saying something as simple as: I like what they did in that space; I’d like to completely renovate our bathroom. 


Side note: A plumber is seriously coming to our ancient farmhouse today – on the day of this writing. If he can’t figure out something quickly, I’m taking the lightening rods off the roof and letting the problem sort its self out. 

Anyway…

Comparison, in moderation, is not necessarily an evil. In fact, it typically encourages the desire to do more or do better.

So when is comparison a bad thing?
When it begins to steal your joy.

Again: 
When is comparison a bad thing?
When it begins to steal your joy.

Proverbs 14:30

A heart at peace gives life to the body,
but envy rots the bones.

When you expend enough energy comparing anything that you have (or don’t?) to others, 
that you’re too worn to seek out and enjoy the wonderful things in your camp, 
the rot has already set in.


And by “
someone else’s beauty”, I mean someone else’s

Career, path or professional success
Family, heritage or history
Home, house or furnishings
Friends, social scene or status
Appearance, confidence, or closet
Health, strength or energy
Location, proximity or zip code
Winnings, success or trophy case
Body type, body type or body type
Children, legacy or rendition
Schedule, production or obligations
Someone else’s Life.

Theodore Roosevelt once said: 
"Comparison is the thief of joy."
What a simple, profound way to think of something so common in our every day life. 
Do you find yourself - if only just a little - comparing what you have to what others do? What about comparing your life's path and timeline to other people's? Why do that to yourself?  God made your life's story uniquely for you. Only you were meant to live it. 




You lock your car when running errands. 
You use a password to securely lock your personal information online. 
Certainly, you lock your home up when you leave for an extended period of time. 
Why?
Because you don't want a thief stealing the physical things that are important to you. 

So why - why - would you allow 
conscious comparing to trespass 
into your most guarded possession: 
- your heart -
so it can
steal your joy?