Life Lessons Learned From The Remodeled Home

You can learn a lot in life. 

• Do not wash reds with whites. 
• If you don't want anyone to read it, you better not write it down. 
• If you step on a nail, go tell Momma. Fast. 

Two weeks ago I began telling the story of The House That Built Me. Today, I continue with a set of tried and true lessons learned from that home. 

Life Lessons Learned From The Remodeled Home

1. Goats don't like stair steps. 
2. Even if you clean the carpet well, Momma always knows when you were too lazy to take off your work boots before running upstairs to get a hair tie. 
3. Anything rolled under the stove or behind the washer has been sacrificed in the name of fun and will never been seen again. 
4. I have known no greater pain than when stepping on a Lego. 
5. Saw horses have deceiving names are not nearly as fun as real horses. 
6. Ask permission before laying duct tape across the carpet to simulate a balance beam for routine practices in your bedroom.
1. When laying duct tape on aged carpet, the carpet snags/tears quite easily when trying to remove said duct tape. 
7. Dust bunnies are not the most ideal kindergarten show-and-tell animals. 
8. During the remodeling process, when Dad instructs you to only step on the beams, do not step on the pretty, pink insulation "just once, to see how it feels on your feet".
9. Pretty, pink insulation does not taste anything like pretty, pink cotton candy. 
10. Whoever restores our home next will find approximately $17 in silver dollars that have fallen between the wall and the woodwork of the stairwell. Lucky ducks. 
11. When in doubt, check the junk drawer.
12. Playing 52 pick up with asbestus shingles will not kill you. 
13. I'm thankful porch swings can't talk. 
14. Just because your older siblings tell you to, does not mean you should.
15. Those who grew up with a Tupperware cupboard are identified early in school; they're always the winners of the match game. 
16. It is pertinent that you take the time to ensure the pillows have been properly placed on the landing before sliding head-first down the stairway in a nylon sleeping bag.
17. Registers are excellent conductors of sound. 
18. "A guy called for Dad" is not an acceptable phone message. 
19. The medicine cabinet has all you'll ever need for the basis of a successful science fair project. 
20. There is no place like home.