Wednesday, December 21, 2011

The Misfits II

If you tuned in last week you'll remember that I have an entire box of inherited misfit ornaments that I can't stand to look at but I can't throw away.  I dug through these little gems last night and again tilted my head to the side, squinted my eyes and simply asked, "Why???" 

Rather than ask the questions, I'll let let the ornaments do the talking...

I was supposed to be a rocking horse. But my head began to take this weird shape and the guy making me just decided to turn me into a full fledge rocking elephant. 
Have you ever seen an elephant that rocked? I mean, besides George W.....

I got the short end of the stick on this deal, having made a lonely home on the back side of the tree with the other clowns. The kids don't like me because I scare them and the parents don't like me because I have crossed-out eyes like I'm an irresponsible drunk clown. 

I'm a beautiful wax ornament made in 1939. Back when the Christmas lights were not safe and were also called "candles". If you think my front is fancy, you should see my melted backside. Because then you'd realize I'm not fancy at all. More of a fire hazard than a decoration, really. My risk is quite comparable to any of the ACDC night lights you've won on a county fair midway. 

Nothing says Christmas like a tiny leaning baby angel praying in a tiny hollow chicken's egg with a tiny beaded Christmas tree in the background. 

I've been considered a cross between Cindy Lou-Who and Kelli Pickler 
but I actually hate blondes. That is why I've refused to open my eyes to acknowledge anyone since Dec. 26, 1969. 
Try to pry those eyes open - I dare ya. 

Someone Had Too Much Time On Their Hands -
Also, If I Am An Elephant Why Do I Have A Unicorn Horn? 

I hope all of Jean's Boots readers are having a fantastic week-before-Christmas. At approximately 5:45 last night I had the "No wonder I got my shopping done so early this year - - I forgot 6 people" freak out moment. I looked through my garage and basement and those special six will be getting

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