Wednesday, July 24, 2013


Since it's just you and I this morning, can I make a confession? 
Don't worry, I've not robbed a bank or lied on my license about my weight (more than 15 lbs.), but it's something I think about every once in a while.

W.I.T.: Wife In Training.
17ish days from today I'll be a wife and I have to tell you, I don't know if I'm cut out for this wife deal. 
I'm serious. 
Do I have it in me?

I look around at the wives I know and quite frankly, I get tired. 

Like, just ate at Cracker Barrel after church, tired. 

Since it's just us and we have a few minutes, can I ask a few questions?

How does a wife like Ann have the confidence and faith to tell her husband, "OK, let's do this" then take a leap of faith and start a business out of their newlywed apartment? Like, some days the greatest leap of faith I take is putting a dry-clean only blouse in with my delicates and then I worry myself to death for 8 hours that I've thrown $30 down the drain. But huge faith in business decisions: How do I get there

And sometimes I forget to feed Dixie. And she never says much so it tends to go unnoticed. Then around 1:47 a.m. I wake up to the eery feeling of someone looking at me and I open my eyes to see the white tip of a tail going 100 mph in the dark. I just don't think I'll get the same response if I forget to feed Cody? How long can a grown man go with out feeding? Please advise. 

How do wives like Marlene adjust to a husband who travels the continental fifty regularly, Facebooking every photo and  every new adventure? How does she not pack a bag, quit her job and hit the wide open trail with him? How does a wife learn to proudly promote and watch? And just what does she pack for healthy road snacks? Teach me. 

I have gone months without thinking about cleaning my shower. Does this change with a husband? How do you mask the gag? How does one get past the dried up toothpaste on the side of the sink? Where does one buy the right type of shaving cream? I'm so scared there are not enough rubber gloves in the world

I really like my alone time. Sometimes I even invite girlfriends to keep me company. Can wives still do this? Will Wannabeez miss Chey, Laramie, Em and I? What if they don't? Do wives still get invited to girls' night? Please say yes. Lie to me. 

How do Teresa and Julie feed two families nightly (NIGHTLY) and any guests that show up? I don't have it in me, the organized gene. Or the meal planning gene. There have been weeks when I've been to Meijer for dinner ingredients more times than I've washed my hair. How do you get that preparation gene? How do you say, "You'll eat it and you'll like it" without actually saying that aloud?

When Katie and I want to take our annual gypsy trip, do we need signed permission slips now? Recognizing the men we both chose, I'd guess no, but I have a really hard time wrapping my head around a signature and an insurance waiver to go see the wild west in a rental car and series of cheap motels

I look around at these wives who have this deal mastered and I kind of want to puke and eat  a half gallon of ice-cream at the same time. I have confidence in myself and my ability to make Cody laugh and allow him to love me (the real, sometimes moody, need-me-time, where is my phone charger? My fat jeans don't even fit!!! me) completely and truly. 

But then I think one thing goes wrong - like I forget to register his favorite stock or I scorch he heck out of his favorite shirt - and I will have failed in everything that my Momma has ever tried to teach me. 

Confession: I don't even know how to make gravy. 

The truth is I admire the ones around me who have blazed the trail far ahead. Thank you for burning biscuits and leaving the gates open and throwing away the most comfortable pair of underwear he has ever owned. 

But please help. Leave your "Wife In Training" advice in the comments below. 

Sincerely concerned, 

T-17 days


  1. Meredith/GreenCircleGroveJuly 24, 2013 at 7:58 AM

    You'll be fine. You chose each other for a reason or two, right? You'll work it out.
    I've been married for almost 45 years. I've learned a little: practice makes perfect on the timing; you can always add more water to soup, but it's hard to divide a pork chop so if there's any chance you'll have extras for dinner-go with the soup. Delegate. And..only have "real" gravy at big family dinners, so when someone asks "can I help?"--have them make the gravy. (And practice that, too--you'll get it.)
    Best wishes and many joyful years.

    1. Meredith, thank you!
      I hadn't even heard of the soup thing...and I make a lot of pork chops. This information is perfect timing! I'm weakness has always been delegating - you've taught me differently!

  2. Well, firstly, I'm super excited for you! Secondly, keep in mind that while you're figuring out the wife thing, he's also figuring out the husband thing. A girlfriend (who was a few years ahead of me in life) once told me to always stay true to myself & who I am; because once you become a Mrs., you are still YOU just with a different last name. Same goes if/when kids come along. I'm still Pam, and we're still Luke & Pam as a couple. We've just added parents to our list of adjectives.

    And FYI, I can't make gravy either. I buy it in a jar if I must have it. ;)

    1. Pam - SO TRUE.
      It's been easy to think I'm in this mindset alone. Cody is a visionary. He thinks - a LOT. He looks futuristically while I'm more worried about what we're having for lunch. It IS likely I'm not alone is these thoughts.
      To Luke & Pam - I Salute You. You inspire me!!

      Where do you buy your gravy??

  3. I agree with the first two there is a reason you two chose each other and wanted to get married. It takes time and practice and not every wife is perfect, you will screw up and so will he but know that if we didn't make mistakes we would never learn from them. And yes when you are married you can still have girls night or take off on trips now and then too and you should definitely take time for you. No couple wants to be with each other 24/7 unless they are newlyweds but once that wares off you will each want time to your selves so its good to have hobbies. I wish you the best of luck and I am so happy for you on this next chapter of your life!

    1. Kristen -
      I definitely needed to hear that! Not sure why but my independence gene keeps creeping in and I get this feeling that life as I know it is over. Ever though Cody is far more independent than me! Thank you - I needed that confirmation from you.

  4. Hey Jean, Congrats on your upcoming nuptials! I've only been married for 2 1/2 years, so I completely understand your anxiety.

    My biggest piece of advice to cover all your questions would be, "don't sweat it!" Be the best wife YOU can be. I'm really good at some things and really bad at other things. It's called being human! You and your soon-to-be-hubby will create your own normal, so don't worry too much about what other wives and mothers do. They make look like Superwoman to you, but they have their own struggles and failings.

    Just wake up every day asking yourself what you can do to make your spouse happy. If that's your goal every day of your marriage, it will all come together. And keep Christ as your center. You can do all things through Him!

    God bless your marriage!

  5. Liz -
    Thank you!!! "They may look like Superwoman to you, but they have their own struggles and failings." _ i need to remember that, especially in a world of social media and unattainable Pinterest goals....
    Great advice - I'll keep it in my back pocket :)
    Thank you!