Wednesday, November 27, 2013

What...Is Wrong With Us?

Have you ever stopped during your crazy day, 
sat very still, 
tilted your head to one side 
and thought, 

"What kind of world am I living in?"

Last week I thought back to growing up in the 80's - 90's and how my research techniques were much different then. 
I used to find the step stool, go to the bookcase and run my fingers down the green and gold volumes until I found the letter I was searching for. 
The most frustrating part of the process was the wild goose chase that could soon ensue. 
Very often, my spelling abilities, or lack there of, would extend this adventure. 

Twenty years later and that wild goose chase is easily cut short by the Internet, which apparently already knows what I'm going to ask before I make my sixth stroke on the keyboard.
Last Thursday I typed one word in the Google search box and it hit me: 
We're living in a strange, scary state of affairs. 

That's right, world. 
'What does the fox say' was the most popular question asked on Google. 

Why are these the questions that occupy our minds?
Why do we care?
Here's why we should be concerned as a culture:

What does the fox say?
Who cares what the fox says?
Did anyone else watch that video and think, They do this for a living? What a dreadful calling...
When you're not a 4-year-old and the sound a fox makes is intriguing, you need to revaluate. Everything.
So what does the fox say, you ask?
Hell, I don't know. Can't we just consider it the silent observer of the animal kingdom and move on? It has the ability to observe, but not speak - I bet it's far smarter than the yappy dog down the street!

What is twerking?
Unfortunately, twerking is the closest thing to "werk" some Americans will ever do.
What is really worrisome is the number of online tutorials for this "dance". 
Double that worry and we will find how many people have watched the tutorial. 
Take 80% of that same number and you'll find how many girls under the age of 18 have viewed it. 
I'm terrible at math and I can even develop this conclusion:
Look out, America - these are the mothers of the next generation. 
You must be so proud. 

What Would I Say? 
I had to google this one. 
This is a Facebook app that generates whimsical statuses.
That's right. 
Folks all over America are relying on a computerized app to not only think for them (because, let's face it, you were never that funny), but also post it on social media so you look like the most 
1) insightful 
2) broken - but stronger now
3) witty person in the Facebook feed
to people whom you haven't seen in 8 years. Or met, ever, in your life. 
I'm sorry that you don't have enough self confidence to think or speak for yourself. 
I'd like to take that one up with your dad.
Fathers teach us confidence, mothers teach us compassion.
But learn how to twerk and you just might be going places...

And finally, America asks,
What is Obamacare?
As far as I know, its the only thing besides a stool sample that you have to pass to find out whats in it. 

I invite you - right now - to start devoting your learning - and teaching - to things that will benefit current or proceeding generations. When the above are the most popular questions our culture is seeking answers to, legitimate concern should arise with the direction we're going.
There is so much more to life.

In fact, what happened to the questions that matter?
  • Why do I get more car sick in the back seat?
  • Why do I only find coupons in my car three days after they've expired?
  • Why are the last 5 pounds the hardest to lose?
  • Why do your fingers and toes wrinkle if left in water too long?
  • Who killed JR?
  • Why does it take 15 years to use one jar of Vaseline?
Until these questions are answered, I refuse to let a red varmint with a bushy tail occupy any more of my life.

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