Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Seeing Red

I have this list....

Ok, I have several lists, but I have one that I'm pretty darn good at checking off. 

It's a list of things I want to do on my own: the travel, the moving away, the city, the home ownership, all things I've always felt it was important for me to do before I, one day, settle down. I just know that when that time comes, I'm going to only be content if I've done much on my own. I want to ensure that before 2 become 1, I'm actually a 1, not a 1/2  in how I've lived this life. 

It's been almost three years since I bought my first home. It was quite the process, quite the search, quite the adventure. But I found the home that is perfect for me. And I've worked quite hard to make it my own, with out spending too much money. 

There are some things I've done right. I've toned down the paint and made bubble gum pink, pumpkin orange and festive blue a far, distant memory. I've brought light to the once-dim dining room.  I've even managed to shop-vac the basement out. Once in three years. 

I can also say without a doubt that I've done some pretty shoddy things as a home owner. Like forgetting that I turned on the water to fill my sink for dishes, then going outside to pick up sticks for 45 minutes. Or when I hastily cut cords because they were in my way when I was painting. Who knew they were my phone cords?

However, in that last three years, I can say with confidence that the worst decision I've ever made as a home owner was a simple one I made on impulse with my lovely mother. It happened in the middle of JC Penny on a simple Saturday afternoon. 

I bought red bath towels, hand towels and washcloths. 

Since that fateful decision last October, I have regretted it one hundred times over. 

These towels are the prettiest towels that you ever did see. But their functionality is questionable. Is there anything worse than a towel that doesn't get the job done? Yes, and it's a towel that doesn't get the job done but also leaves you looking like some creepy Elmo impersonator. 

Not only do these famous JC Penny towels leave red fur all over your hands, hair and anywhere else the fabric touches, they also have this unique ability to paint my home red. 

And my white slacks red.

It's been almost a year and yesterday I found red lent in my stovetop burner. What? The towels of death have completely infested my home, from my bathroom in back to my kitchen in front. And the kicker, after I realized remnants of these towels were showing up on clothes, on my TV screen and in my white laundry, I discontinued use. 

That was last December. 

I don't know what to do with these fancy towels that have tried very hard to ruin my life. I put them on a shelf and used to bring them out for "special" occasions only. Like when I give Dixie a bath or when I leave the kitchen sink running for an hour. Even then, Dixie prances around the house running into furniture because she has red lent stuck in her eyes, and my white linoleum is now a certain pink color in places because of the dye that has yet to fade away. 

I was walking around the house two nights ago trying to find a creative way to wrap a birthday gift. Something different than wrapping paper, something more creative than a gift bag, something more memorable the normal butcher paper I use. 

I opened the hall closet. A stack of unused, unwanted red towels starred me right in the face. I considered it. 

But I wouldn't pass these beautiful, shedding, lent-leaving cloths on to a friend. I wouldn't want anyone to experience the frustration I have in the last year.

Then all of the sudden, I had an idea. I took all the life-ruining red towels and placed them in a garbage bag, then put them with my Christmas bows in the basement. At least I can say one person is scratched off my list for December. Merry Christmas to my dear brother, Luke. 

1 comment:

  1. Take them back to J C Penny and I bet you get your money back Good Luck I am serious they want happy customers. Trade them for a better color